ok, this is a GREAT insult to my creative and literary abilities. first, i got a big fat D for gp essay. now, i have a grand total of 2 viewers for my blog. this makes for a major dent in my already smaller-than-normal ego. but oh well, life goes on, Rome wasn't built in a day, that's the way the cookie crumbles. (i can just hear meng yuan say,"Cookie? Where? I want!") (and THAT, meng yuan, is what you get for calling my blog retarded. please stay tuned for more insults and jibes, both hidden and overt, coming your way.)

anywaaays, i should publicise my blog to the other gluttons... maybe our friendship will override the fact that my writing skills are non-existent.

wellllll, let's see....what to write about? hmmmm....

oh yeah, today was just an average Joe day, a perfect 3 rating. so i guess there isn't much to expound on. just that mengyuan has absolutely lousy stamina, run 1.6km only complain so much. the weather was TOO hot, why the canteen SO hot, i feel like fainting, wah! i'm SO exhausted! etc etc etc....

aaaand, during the long break today, me, mengyuan and jon had quite an interesting chat about US uni applications, scholarships, and...surprise surprise, religion. weird transition i know, but who am i to say. mengyuan and jon were arguing about the finer points of faith, religion and theology, while i was staring hard at the pages of my chem notes, TRYING to concentrate but obviously failing.

sigh, i don't know what's my problem but i CAN'T HELP IT CAN I?!?? i don't know why i'm so skeptical about religion or devoting my faith and belief in a higher order. i mean, i admire the staunch believers of their religion because of their stoic faith no matter what. i envy the way they can seek solace in a greater being, and draw strength from the teachings of their religion. but after all these years, i still can't bring myself to really believe that a religious authority exists. yes, i AM cynical and skeptical, pragmatic and rational, and a complete sinner for rejecting religion!

maybe one day i might convert. but now, i revel in my lack of trust and faith, choosing instead to place my fate in my own hands and no other, and accepting that, perhaps humans are NOT pieces on a chessboard in a timeless game, played out by omniscient minds. perhaps there IS no afterlife, no life after death, no otherworld. maybe humans were JUST an accident. not part of a greater order. maybe there IS no purpose in life, no higher calling.

oh boy, i don't know if i'm breaking any laws for maintaining religious peace or anything. so this is an explanation to all you religious folks out there, i AM NOT, repeat, AM NOT encouraging anyone to adopt any view, but am simply expressing my own, of course, sorely subjective and personal views. so please, i don't wanna kena flamed!

lol ok, i guess i'm making a BEEEG assumption that there are actually people who read my blog besides sq and menggy, and can actually bother to flame me.

what the hell, oh oops i meant, what the crap, i'm going off for dinner now.