ok i have a confession to make. but first, here's a bit of background.

today we had gp lesson see, and i got back my AQ. i took a look at the top of the page, and whaddya know?

a beeeg 3 stared back at me from the page. SIGH, another major blow to my ego. so here's the confession: i am VERY SORRY to say that i felt a flash of irritation when meng yuan and siqian burst out laughing after looking at my dismal grade. i apologise and promise that it will NOT happen again ok! i don't know why it happened too, i swear! i honestly and solemnly vow that i shall immediately deflate my ego to a normal size and not get annoyed when someone deals me an insult, such as a beeeeeg big 3.

ok, now i'm starting to panic for gp prelims. after the bout of bad essays and totally off answers, i am determined to prove, once and for all, that i MAY be some good at gp. oh shucks, i'm supposed to have a deflated ego.
oh well.

anyways, i'm sad that school's coming to an end. i know some people who are absolutely overcome with joy that school's ending, and i can't see why. of course i love taking breaks from school and having school holidays, but the permanent relief from schooling sorta gets me down. it will feel weird not waking up at 6.30am every morning, scoffing down breakfast, sitting at the parade square waiting for the announcement that assembly will be cancelled due to the overcast skies. it will feel weird that i won't get to hang out with ah meng, siqian, mf (who doesn't ROX), melho, hongyi, and all me other chums in school, weird to not rush to classes after breaks, or go to the toilet after every lesson.

i guess i just feel weird that a MAJOR period in my life is coming to an end! horrors!! i'm terrified to face the unknown future! i'm afraid to put a single toe out of my comfort zone! i'm all a-shiver having to think of issues like further studies, career and life! reality bites!

ok i exaggerate. but really, i'm extremely sad that i have to give up being a kid (ok not a kid la, but a YOUNG ADULT) to learn to be a REAL adult dealing with consequential issues. gone are the days where i can just turn to family or friends whenever i need help. just a little while from now, i'll be forced to be self-sufficient, and be ALL BY MY LONESOME SELF.

thinking about this makes me so scared that i shall turn to one of the things i can seek solace from: MY STUDIES. you know why? bcos studying reminds me that i'm still a full-time student, with no other responsibilities, except to MUG, MUG, and then some more. also, it's hard to think of serious matters when you're staring at benzene rings or dd-ss diagrams.

PS: sorry to siqian and mengyuan again! i swear it was just a FLASH of irritation, which disappeared immediately after like 5 minutes!