I'm an elitist brat.




yeah i am.
today, in the car on the way home after maths paper 2, Brendan asked me, "So how was the paper?"
Me: "ok la..."
Brendan: "what? just ok? maths is the paper you're supposed to score in you know!"

and so the elitist nature of mine (the dark forces) kicked in, and this train of thought made its way through my mind - Rrrright, i don't need you to tell me that. Y'know, for pple from our school, the benchmark is full marks, and it's a competition to see who loses the least marks to get a perfect score, not to see who earns more marks.

oh boy. this is one of the elitist thoughts that have invaded my mind since, i think, the beginning of the year. another elitist comment i made was something along the lines of "most of the students from our school surely get A for the A levels la, because it's benchmarked against other people in the same cohort" !!! now THAT is an elitist caught red-handed.

sigh. that was just a random confession of mine. one consolation though, i'm probably not alone in this mentality! which is actually not supposed to be a good thing. oh well.

and to veer off to a topic wholly and utterly unconnected to its predecessor, you know how people always say the grass is always greener on the other side? so i was just thinking, maybe people all see things differently. not as in mindset, beliefs, values, attitudes blah blah blah, but really physically, tangibly, differently. like one person can see a colour in a certain shade, and another sees the exact same colour but feels it's of another shade. or maybe you see a square black box that's a tv, and someone else sees something else, like perhaps it a sort of cube with slightly more angular faces.

ok, this is hard to describe and put in words. but (hopefully) you get the idea. ok, who am i kidding, you probably don't know what the Hell i'm saying, cos neither do i honestly.

by the way, i miss cooking. i miss tinkering around the kitchen, shopping for ingredients, trawling the net for recipes. one of the first things i shall do after As is to cook a REALLY REALLY fantastic pasta, followed by a REALLY REALLY wonderful dessert. and to wash it all down, i'm considering, either a cocktail or a mixed fruit juice or tea infusion, or maybe even all three. sounds nice? yeah man, hee hee, i can't wait. ooh, i could do a soup! maybe a seafood soup, lobster bisque, onion soup in french style, orrrr....... a minestrone? so many options so little time!

just a side note, before you think i'm a brilliant cook or smt, please revise your thoughts.

ANYWAYSSS, on to newer topics. i'm done with maths and gp for life. wow. it's amazing how times seems to pass so fast once you look back on it! it seems to pass ten times slower while you're in the midst of things. it's like you're operating at a different time universe, or whatever you call it. but yeah, (almost) 18 years of my life has passed! that's like, erm...........er...............hmmm.............wait just a sec..........heh..............hmmm.............er.. nearly 2 decades!! haha. 2 decades?!?! and what have i done with my life?!!? i've not saved a life yet! or did any noble laudable deeds! or climbed Mt Everest! or swum the English Channel! or won a Nobel! or...... wait a sec. this seems wrong. i'm judging my life's worth by things like these, awards, recognition... weeeell, what's a true measurement of how well you've spent your time anyways? sheesh.


and again with the veering off track. today we commemorate just over 2 months of non-stop mugging! from prelims till now. i have officially been buried under books, with my nose held against the Grindstone of Enlightenment, for nearly 70 days!! it's the first time i've studied so much in me (worthless, as earlier concluded) life! and it's just 2 weeks away to ultimate freedom! it's true what they say, that you never feel joy/freedom/amusement till you've experienced grief/imprisonment/boredom. all of us J2 will really get to taste freedom, and i mean real FREEDOM, in a little while. it's times like these that i can feel the camaraderie and fellow brothers-in-arms (that came out in gp!), everyone else at the bar counter with a beer mug commiserating. haha, ok that's absurd. but really, in 2 weeks' time, we'll all be new people. the free people of junior colleges. that sounds like some patriotic proclamation you here at a political rally, haha. okaaay, i can tell you're not amused. again, my humour fails me.


and in case you haven't realise (in which case you're really dimwitted), i'm extremely bored and i've started to ramble. which is actually quite good for my lit paper on monday. it's always good to ramble in any essay, especially lit essays. the more you ramble, the more the marker loses track of your poor argument or shoddy point, and the more likely he will just give up marking the script and give you a pass grade. but i digress. what i wanted to say was, next week is a crazy week!

monday - lit in the morning, physics in the afternoon
tuesday - chemistry in the morning, econs in the afternoon
wednesday - econs
thursday - try to heal the cramping muscles in my right hand
friday - chemistry

tell me that's crazy! it really is! especially thursday's schedule, that really sucks.

and benedict just ask me about the maths p & c question, involving stupid married couples standing in a stupid circle. who the Hell forces married couples to stand in circles so that we can do calculations on them?! that's just a crock of crap. anyways, i think i lost the most marks in that question. i probably lost all the marks in that question. probably. but actually, discussing it was quite interesting, it's almost like a philosophy question. lol. small wonder why ancient philosophers dabbled in mathematics too. ok, i just made up that statistic, but i have a feeling it's true. anyways, i'm off to draw circles and calculate the number of possible arrangements for stupid couples to stand.

cya, and all the best for the remaining papers.