today.

is

one

of

the

most

suckiest

day

i

have

experienced

this

year.

end of story.

ok not really. i still have much MUCH more to gripe about. this very day has earned a rating of 1.93. in other words, if it weren't for my not having to go to school, i would probably be sucking my thumb and rocking myself to sleep beside the toilet bowl while i weep my eyes out over how terrible life is.

and of course, being the fabulous joker i am, i was OBVIOUSLY just pulling you leg.

but honestly, i'm feeling really low now thanks to my mysterious ailment. it all started when i woke up yesterday with a weird feeling in my mouth and throat. this benign "weird feeling" later developed into a "weird feeling" of PURE EVIL, threatening to seize control of my mouth, tongue and throat by dispatching little sores to command and conquer! as you can probably tell, the use of military and war imagery is really appropriate for situations like these.

anyways, i can barely taste food, and eating or drinking is really uncomfortable. mrt trains will be so glad to have me as a commuter (Eating or drinking is NOT allowed).

if you wanna gain first-hand experience of my malady, i shall tell you how.

first, run out to the DIY store and purchase 2 sheets of 1m X 1m heavy-duty sandpaper. by "heavy-duty", i mean REALLY heavy-duty, like the type of sandpaper that will make the most unyielding bits of scrap metal quake in their soddy shoes, and turn them into meek little balls of metal with bottoms as smooth as a baby's, well, bottom.

second, cut out 4 strips of 3cm by 1cm, as well as one in the shape of a tongue. if you do not know what a tongue looks like, please go to your primary school science teacher and give him/her a good dressing-down. put aside the rest of the sandpaper, you won't be needing them till your next art lesson.

third, place the strips in between the lining of your mouth and your gums, with 2 strips for the upper jaw, and 2 for the lower. then, place the tongue-shaped piece on (guess what?) your tongue.

fourth, raid your kitchen and take any edible substances out of your shelf or fridge.

fifth, attempt to chew and swallow these substances. please note that this step should be carried out preferably in private, because at this point, you will probably be making funny faces, as you grimace and wince during the uncomfortable process of following the above instruction.

and that, my friends (with sore mouths, tongues and throats), is how i feel.

but anyways, i went to 2 doctors to find out what the bleeding hell is happening to my mouth, tongue and throat. the first doctor looked at me and said solemnly, "I have never come across anything like this before.". i swore i could've fainted on the spot. then he went on to say, "Give it a few days and see whether it develops into something more serious." Yeah, and by that time i might probably be unable to open my mouth and possibly half-dying of starvation and dehydration.

the second doctor spent a whole lotta time telling me what i DIDN'T have, but somehow failed to tell me what i DID have. he said," it's not cancerous, because the white colouration is a different shade. it's not hand-foot-mouth, because there aren't any blisters on your hands and feet (hallelujah!), and also the sores look different. and it's not a fungal infection.". fortunately, he told me that it SHOULD clear in a week, and gave me some antibiotics.

so here i am now, wishing that a week would pass faster. feeling absolutely shitty cos i can't really taste much or chew and swallow well. and i think my throat's starting to swell. you know how a bullfrog looks when it's croaking? its throat swells impossibly large and then subsides. my throat COULD perhaps be looking like that right now. so i'm hoping it subsides fast. humans aren't meant to look like frogs you know.

anyways, at least i think it's starting to heal slowly. it was worse in the morning. ah well, i will appreciate eating and drinking more in future. once this sodding week passes.