today.

is

one

of

the

most

suckiest

day

i

have

experienced

this

year.

end of story.

ok not really. i still have much MUCH more to gripe about. this very day has earned a rating of 1.93. in other words, if it weren't for my not having to go to school, i would probably be sucking my thumb and rocking myself to sleep beside the toilet bowl while i weep my eyes out over how terrible life is.

and of course, being the fabulous joker i am, i was OBVIOUSLY just pulling you leg.

but honestly, i'm feeling really low now thanks to my mysterious ailment. it all started when i woke up yesterday with a weird feeling in my mouth and throat. this benign "weird feeling" later developed into a "weird feeling" of PURE EVIL, threatening to seize control of my mouth, tongue and throat by dispatching little sores to command and conquer! as you can probably tell, the use of military and war imagery is really appropriate for situations like these.

anyways, i can barely taste food, and eating or drinking is really uncomfortable. mrt trains will be so glad to have me as a commuter (Eating or drinking is NOT allowed).

if you wanna gain first-hand experience of my malady, i shall tell you how.

first, run out to the DIY store and purchase 2 sheets of 1m X 1m heavy-duty sandpaper. by "heavy-duty", i mean REALLY heavy-duty, like the type of sandpaper that will make the most unyielding bits of scrap metal quake in their soddy shoes, and turn them into meek little balls of metal with bottoms as smooth as a baby's, well, bottom.

second, cut out 4 strips of 3cm by 1cm, as well as one in the shape of a tongue. if you do not know what a tongue looks like, please go to your primary school science teacher and give him/her a good dressing-down. put aside the rest of the sandpaper, you won't be needing them till your next art lesson.

third, place the strips in between the lining of your mouth and your gums, with 2 strips for the upper jaw, and 2 for the lower. then, place the tongue-shaped piece on (guess what?) your tongue.

fourth, raid your kitchen and take any edible substances out of your shelf or fridge.

fifth, attempt to chew and swallow these substances. please note that this step should be carried out preferably in private, because at this point, you will probably be making funny faces, as you grimace and wince during the uncomfortable process of following the above instruction.

and that, my friends (with sore mouths, tongues and throats), is how i feel.

but anyways, i went to 2 doctors to find out what the bleeding hell is happening to my mouth, tongue and throat. the first doctor looked at me and said solemnly, "I have never come across anything like this before.". i swore i could've fainted on the spot. then he went on to say, "Give it a few days and see whether it develops into something more serious." Yeah, and by that time i might probably be unable to open my mouth and possibly half-dying of starvation and dehydration.

the second doctor spent a whole lotta time telling me what i DIDN'T have, but somehow failed to tell me what i DID have. he said," it's not cancerous, because the white colouration is a different shade. it's not hand-foot-mouth, because there aren't any blisters on your hands and feet (hallelujah!), and also the sores look different. and it's not a fungal infection.". fortunately, he told me that it SHOULD clear in a week, and gave me some antibiotics.

so here i am now, wishing that a week would pass faster. feeling absolutely shitty cos i can't really taste much or chew and swallow well. and i think my throat's starting to swell. you know how a bullfrog looks when it's croaking? its throat swells impossibly large and then subsides. my throat COULD perhaps be looking like that right now. so i'm hoping it subsides fast. humans aren't meant to look like frogs you know.

anyways, at least i think it's starting to heal slowly. it was worse in the morning. ah well, i will appreciate eating and drinking more in future. once this sodding week passes.

oh and one other thing. i was viewing my blog, just to see if things turned out looking alright and yada-yada. and i realised that white font on a black background can do some SEEERIOUS damage to your eyes. my eyeballs started to protest after reading just several lines.

so i'd like to apologise for making my readers (where are my readers? anyone out there? yoohoo?) strain their eyes just to read my blog. but oh well, good things come with a price y'know. sacrifice your vision for some truly enlightening insight and perspectives! it's probably a good bargain.

by the way, i WON'T change my background colour, neither will i the font colour. so, TOO BAD.

oh man, i was digging around my cupboard for fun today. and i found my kindergarten report card. they have criteria such as Intellectual Development, Social-Emotional Development and Moral-Aesthetic Development &c, and there are 3 grades, Very Good, Good and Average.

so i looked through my K2 report. and i got Very Good for ALMOST everything (of course!), except for certain criteria la. guess what? i only got Good for "Hand and eye coordination", and for "Tolerance", as well as for "Ability to Concentrate". hahaha, i burst out laughing when i saw that.

ok that was just a side-track. sigh, today was a 2.99-rating. yeah, had a bad day. thanks to the big D i got for econs.
D for Dismal, Devastating, Disastrous, Don't-waste-your-time, Dieee, Dudley Dursley.

sigh. i really have to work miracles on my econs, the most detestable subject in the entire universe! i swear it is!

and i'm getting nervous about my maths grade, ah meng heard that not a lot of pple got A this time around. shucks, i really need an A in maths! really really really! i need it to neutralise the D in econs. oh well.

ANYWAYS, on to HAPPIER topics (oh wait, nothing beats economics in making ME happy). hmmm, what to say.... oh yeah! i had chocolate milk tea with pudding today! WOW, doesn't that fascinate you endlessly?

oh. just thought of something else. did you know the average racing horse weighs 450kg? and did you know (obviously you don't, that's why i'm telling you now) that a jockey must not weigh above 50kg? WOW. which is why many jockeys resort to starvation and diets, and many are bulimic and constantly worrying about their weight. that's worst than most teenage girls, they HAVE to starve for a living!

ok, that was about all i could rack my brains and come up with. hm. how about a list of spankingly fantastic animals facts? i could try rattling them off from the back of my head. (okaay, i'm cheating, i got them off several websites.)

here some extremely spellbinding trivia about my favourite (yeah for real!) race, Animals!

Studies show that if a cat falls off the seventh floor of a building it has about thirty percent less chance of surviving than a cat that falls off the twentieth floor. It supposedly takes about eight floors for the cat to realize what is occurring, relax and correct itself. (that is ONE seriously laggy cat)

Bats always turn left when leaving a cave. (talk about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder!)

As a general rule in the animal kingdom, the more complex or relatively big the eye in relation to the body, then the smaller the rest of the brain. (hi, what beautiful BIG eyes you have!)

When possums are playing dead, they are not "playing." They actually pass out from sheer terror. (HAHA!)

Carnivorous animals will not eat another animal that has been hit by a lightning strike. (why not?! that would be wasting a perfectly barbequed meal!)

A shrimp's heart is in their head. (imagine if one was dumped by his girlfriend and got heartbroken. he'd be having a migraine! that's sad.)

Many hamsters only blink one eye at a time. (so girl hamsters would always think boy hamsters were trying to hit on them! with all that coy winking!)

A duck's quack doesn't echo anywhere, and no one knows why. (have you ever tried before? i have! my duck, called Bill, really quacks without it echoing! it's terribly amazing! QUACK QUACK QUACK quack..)

The heart of a blue whale is the size of a small car. (imagine if one was dumped by his girlfriend and got heartbroken. imagine damage, lots and lots of it. i mean, the glass of the windows on the car could shatter and the shards could damage the whale's internal organs! oh no! or the airbags could inflate and suffocate the poor guy!)

please note that the contents of the above Amazing Animal Trivia section are completely unsubstantiated and may not be trustworthy.

I have an extraordinary talent.

do you know daniel tammet? remember him? well anyways, he thinks of numbers in terms of colours, shapes, textures, landscapes, feelings even. which is why he can do stellar calculations just by sitting there and feeling his way through the images in his mind, fitting things together and finally arriving at the solution. well, my exceptional talent is like his. except that mine deals with words. to put it simply,

numbers : daniel tammet is like words : me

so, give me any word, ANY word at all, and i can think of it in terms of colours, shapes, textures, landscapes, feelings even.

take for example, the word potato. when i see this word, an image is conjured in my mind. i see something not large, perhaps fist-sized. brown. a bit muddy-looking. it's a bit oval in shape, and feels rough.

and say, the word, green. what i'm getting is this...this...all i see is a patch of something. you know what's it like when you mix blue and yellow together? yeah, i see a whole lotta THAT. just a huge bare patch of THAT.

how about, mirror? i see someone... a girl, good-looking and cute, her features are coming into focus... and... and she looks JUST LIKE ME. okaay, i made that one up. what i really see is this, silvery substance. it sort of repeats whatever is in front of it, copies it down and shows it again. it's rather cold, and definitely solid to the touch. somehow, it doesn't feel...i mean, it feels, a bit, insidious. a bit...untrustworthy. yet, somehow comforting.

the word, blank. i'm picturing this...this....sort of nothingness that's so empty, yet so solid at the same time. it's like an entity, yet an absence of something. it takes up a lot of space, and just...feels.....white and indistinct.

slap. when i look at this, several faces swim into view. is that....is it?....i see some people, and i feel this tremendous, urge, to connect my palm to their cheeks. to inflict pain and humiliation. and i hear, this sound, which is sort of like a clapping noise. a sharp noise. and i see the faces wince. then i get this new feeling of satisfaction, it feels good, mixed with a tingly sort of feeling on my palm.

fairy. what i see is... a ship, or a boat. oh wait, it disappeared. what i see now is this tiny figure, and i somehow think of the name....Tinkerbell. hmm, wonder what that means.

snorklecrackywhamhiggledypoof. erm.. this one's tough...it's taking a long time to materialise and take shape in my mind. well...what i'm picturing is a....sort of.....pig-looking creature, and it's chomping on a bowl of...crackers?....something that makes a lot of noise. and the creature then disappears! just like that, into thin air.

and you know how tammet thinks the number 6 is like, a very small, sort of number? very tiny and minute. i get the same thing. when i see the word itsybitsy, i feel just the same way tammet does.

and tammet also hates this number, 9. he says it's very tall, and imposing, a very boarding-school-master-from-hell type of number. when he went to new york city, surrounded by all the looming skyscrapers, he felt like he was surrounded by the number 9 on all sides. i have a similar feeling when i see the words, boarding-school-master-from-hell. it's amazing i tell you. it's one of the rare times where many words join to give me just one feeling, a feeling of dread and horror and disgust.

and i have my favourite words too, just like tammet loves pi. personally, i don't think pie is anything fantastic, i'd rather have a cake any day. but anyways, i like words like fame, fortune, money, status, power. okaay, i made those up too. those words seem so...shiny and glittery and attractive at first sight, but later, this creeping feeling sneaks up. i feel a bit.......sad, cautious maybe.

my real favourite words are, velvet, apothecary, kumquat, quidditch, spongebob, elf, scaramouche, widdershins, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, shakespeare, moot, roar, sashimi, snorgle, princess, dream, sky, sparkle, and many many more.

so, as you can see, i have a rare talent that is probably unique to this world. i hope that perhaps, scientists somewhere can understand my gifts fully, and research into this phenomenon.






note: Mr Tammet sir, honestly, i was just horsing around. don't send an army of numbers after me! i repent! i won't make fun of you anymore!

why is life so full of oxymorons? (or oxyidiots, oxyninnys, oxydimwits...)

funny people get depression. smart people can get quite dumb. popular people offend some others.

makes me confused sometimes.

and another thing. i was just thinking, imagine that you have a circle of friends, or acquaintances, who all know each other mutually. then you have another circle of, say, relatives, like your cousins. isn't it weird that both circles are sort of SHARING you? and they both see different sides of you. maybe your friends see you in school everyday, the person they're seeing is the student in you. and your relatives see you, perhaps, everytime there's a get-together, so they see the partying side of you. weird isn't it? and there are like tons of little circles that can form around you. and i still find it weird (even after typing several sentences), that they're SHARING you! ok, this was a thought that occurred a long time ago, so i've forgotten most of what i was thinking of. but if it hits me again, i shall return to chronicle it.

GROWL.

and that, was my stomach. i'm starving. bye.

heyyyyyy, i have several things to gush about today.

FIRST of all, my friend's dog who is cutely named "Der Kia" (ok la, i dunno how to spell it, but it's Hokkien for 'baby pig'). anyways, he's a boston terrier, 8 months old but already muscular and stocky. and he's sooooo terribly cute! he likes sitting on his butt and sticking his 2 front paws into the air, and when he does it he really looks like a little human kid. and his coat colour is quite cool! he looks like Batman! he's got like a black face mask thing going on, and his ears are cropped and sticking out. and he also breathes like Darth Vader! which is the best part! lol. he snorts noisily too when he breathes through his mouth. oh boy, so cute.

AAAAAAND, right, i forgot what i wanted to say. crap! shucks, never mind, when i remember then i'll come back.

in the meantime... i had a good day today! well, not exactly resoundingly fantastic la, but i'd give it a 3.89.

OH WAIT, i rmb what was the 2nd thing i wanted to gush about. Boys Like Girls' 'The Great Escape'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i haven't listened to it in a few weeks. and i played it today. hearing the drums at the start of the song gave me goosebumps! it was THAT good! and there's something about the song...listening to it....just does something to me and makes me go crrraaazzzy over it!! sigh. i MIGHT just label it my favourite song...for now.

back to the previous topic. a 3.89 today, because i received quite a lot of good news today. chem, phys, gp grades. psc test results. college awards. ... but it's only a 3.89 day because somehow i don't feel that delighted and brimming with joy. maybe i'm wary that good things are usually balanced out by bad news? so much good luck in a day must, most definitely, come out from your Luck Account in the Divine Bank, which leaves you in a Luck Deficit that will cause the Divine Bankers to hound you. next thing you know, you'll be living out a tomorrow in Luck poverty and declared a bankrupt, so you'll have to suffer things like, broken mirrors, spilt salt shakers, and whatever else that smacks of Luck poverty.

ok, i'm so full of nonsense.

but really, i keep thinking that my luck will run out! and that my other grades will suck to the high heavens. argh. why was i ever born paranoid? oh well.

and by the way, i have something else to say, or rather, type. why do people hate cats so much? ok, i generalise. but a lot of people dislike cats! they're way misunderstood! anyways, part of my sudden advocating of Cat's Rights and championing for their cause is because i've just ploughed through a Neil Gaiman book (Smoke and Mirrors). and there was this short story of how (this is where Gaiman fans who haven't read the book will close their eyes and scroll downwards. OR, if they were too slow in catching the hint and carried on reading, will start to curse and swear) a black cat turns up on the front porch of the character's house one day. the cat lives peacefully with his owners for several days, before he starts coming back each day with mysterious injuries and wounds, cuts, bruises, broken bones, pus-oozing gashes and the works. the owner presumed he was picking a fight with a gigantic raccoon, or some malicious rats, and so, locked him up in the basement to recover.

in the 4 days that the black cat was kept away, the owner and his family suffered tremendously bad luck. his career faced a major setback, his wife had a car accident, and their baby almost drowned in the bath &c. (ok, actually that was about it, but i JUST had to use those symbols "&c" cos they look so pro). so the owner decides to free the black cat, which was mewing copiously and pacing non-stop. and the owner also decides to stay up one night, to see what exactly was the black cat fighting. so he pulls a chair, hides upstairs with binoculars, and waits. much later, deep in the night, he sees it.

"it" being the Devil. (of course, what else were you expecting?) the owner also sees the black cat, which battles bravely with the Devil, keeping it away from the house. the cat leaps, and prances, and swipes, and scratches, and spits. finally, the Devil flees. but the Devil comes back often, not every night, but on many nights. and the black cat fights, he fights with his life. he fights to keep the Devil away from his owner's house. that's where all his injuries come from. the owner picks up the cat, who can barely stand. the black cat has lost an eye, a limb, and possibly suffered even worse internal damage. but the owner admits he is selfish. he lets the cat out every night. the black cat fights on, and looking at his wounds, he might probably only have a few weeks to live.

the end. that was one of the saddest stories i've ever read, maybe cos i don't read sad stories often. but of course, i haven't done it justice and you should go pick up a copy and read it youself. being the naive and innocent person i am, i could only think, how can that man possibly be so selfish that he sacrifices a brave life for his own safety?!?! what the ^@$%!&!!! how foolish of me. of course it's possible, it's human nature after all.

alrrrright, today was a fun day at orchard with the gluttons. a sweeeeet 3.87-rating day having lunch at the korean restaurant Su (i think) at far east, then walking over to wisma, then cine, and finally to swensens at... erm.... i have no idea what that building is. orchard seriously has some ulu buildings springing out from nowhere that noone really knows about. like the rolex tower, at least that's what me and my cousins call it, haha.

ANYWAYS, the korean food was good. me and melho reached early, and when we stepped in, i could tell right away it was a good restaurant! the menu looked pro, the prices not too cheap or too expensive, and the service, decor etc gave off good vibes. and so, the food came, and it WAS great. my bibimbap (they called it smt in a "stone cattle" in the menu... cattle?!?) was not too dry or too soggy, and nice and crunchy! heh, i'm getting hungry. and i just finished dinner a few hours ago!

eh siqian! your black-bottomed chocolate cheese thingys are nice la! how is it humanly possible to make muffins that are crumbly and not chewy?! and please dress a bit more decently next time, i'm not even 18 years old yet la!
and hongyi, thanks for spicing up our lunch with your cute korean waiter incident, lol! we must be sure to go to the boat quay outlet when he's there. then he can serve you all you want. you can ask him to refill your cup non-stop or even teach you korean words like DELICIOUS! HAHA!

aaaanyways, i had a great time today. it felt like how it was back in sec 4 options period. sighh, i really miss sec 4 now! i'm starting to feel ALL the convenience and fun of having orchard road a 5-minute walk away from school. unlike rj. sighhhhhhhhhh. i really really really miss sec 4. even our free time in sec 4 is more free than our free time now la! now whenever we go out, there's this underlying nagging thought that goes: "the 'A's are only one month away. the 'A's are only one month away. the 'A's are only one month away. the 'A's are only one month away. the 'A's are only one month away. the 'A's are only one month away. ( GC syntax: [above sentence]x10E99)

see! i told you!

sigh, i think as you grow older, things become less fun. a rare few adults can still goof around with their friends, and a rarer few can appreciate the ability to do so. i hate it that as you grow older, you have to lose all these little abilities and gifts, to see the simple beauty of things, to appreciate things for what they are, to not have to think about money and looks all the time, to show your feelings and thoughts to others and not have them misconstrued, to be able to burst out laughing or make a lotta noise in public without others giving you disapproving what-is-her-problem looks, and of course, the list can go on and on to eternity.

which, unfortunately, life can't. or is it fortunately? ah well, that is another question to ponder over next time.

and by the way, i still don't like taking neoprints. super waste money. for such teeny pictures somemore. walao. can't stand it. and lucky ah meng, hongyi and melho didn't manage to drag us into kbox. if not my rating of 3.87 would've dropped to 1.748 right away. and someone should probably start a ministry for recreation and leisure activities, cos i think singapore has a serious lack of things to do! or maybe we just dunno where to look. but for now, we'll just have fun hanging out in orchard or other major malls! hooray to the inventor of shopping malls!

okaay, you could probably take a random stab now and correctly guess that i am extremely bored and just trying to fill up the space here. ooh. if you press Enter continuously in this blogging text box thing, will it leave blanks all the way till... infinity?!?! i'm thinking it should stop before that, but the key is.. when? maybe like after a fwe thousand spaces?? hundred??

and i shall leave you to ponder over life's mysteries. bye. ...... the answer's 42!